Sunday, May 10, 2015

He Raped me, Dis-virgin, Got me Pregnant and Abandoned me. Now He Wants My Child.

My mother's day celebration mood was  reigned, when I was approached with this story. I felt sorry for her and I tried to understand the pain she must have felt. But I realized, no matter how hard I try, I really can't understand 1/10 of what she must have gone through and what she's going through. Infact, I cringed in fear when I tried imagining the scenario. So, here's what happened and if she's wrong to reject the man's proposal.

How do I begin to tell my story? Describe the untold humiliation of being tagged a rape victim. The constant explanation to my child when he gets bullied by those that knows about his birth. And not to mention the busy bees that won't let any man stay long in my life because of an incident that I had no control over years ago. We practically grew up together. My street was off his own but we get to bumped into one another from time to time and gradually built a bond. Friend was what I considered him to be and I thought that was all I was to him, until that faithful day. Bored in the house, I have gone visiting him, when he suggested i follow him to go visit some friend's. Unfortunately, the friend wasn't home. But he said, he had called and his friend said we could wait being that he knows were the spare key was. Little did I know I was walking into a trap. We waited for like an hour before I suggested we go back home. That's when he began love story and started touching. I gently told him how I view our relationship and if there'll be more, he'll wait until i finish youth service. It seems all I said or was saying fell into blocked ears, I fought and tried to shout, when he knocked me out.

I woke up to aches everywhere as a result of his forced entry. Even as a youth corper that was my first time. How painful or sweet it was, I couldn't tell. Felt angry with myself and God more for not atleast hearing my prayer and sending in someone to rescue. That night, how I got back home is still a blur because I was in too much pain to be attentive. Thank God for the kind of family I have; we share our problems and I told my sisters. But we couldn't tell our  mother until it became obvious I was pregnant. I finally narrated my ordeal to them. When the gentleman was approached quietly about the issue, he didn't just deny it but help spread the news of me framing him with pregnancy. Well, I didn't bother convincing anyone but decided to have the baby. God is still God and I believed He will care for us. My family were supportive and helped me through the trying stage.

As God will have it, I was blessed with a good job that enabled me to care for my child. That was 8years ago. Today, my rapist is back in my life crawling on his knees for forgiveness and asking me to marry him. Sent family members, friends and church leaders to beg, that he is a changed man. Well, he may be a changed man after all God is still and will always wrought miracle but I fear, he probably just want my son. And he knows he won't get him. So, the need for this whole change charade. If he could change from being a friend to a rapist within an hour, what terrible things will befall us if I am to succumb to his pleadings. I fear for my life. And utterly confused because he has gone far and shown how remorse he feels and how the memory of what he did keeps hunting him. Should I trust this man again? Will it be another graven mistake that I'll live to regret? I need answers because this isn't about me anymore but also about my son. What do I do? where do I go from here?


  1. Oh how sad this makes me feel...and so angry.
    How do men like this live with themselves?
    It is always the woman who has to suffer and struggle, isn't it?
    I don't think I'd ever trust this man could he be trusted, after all he has done? If he changed in an instant before, then I feel he could just as easily do so again.

    Oh how my heart goes out to you...I can't imagine how difficult it has been...

    A Hug xoxoxo

  2. Oh sweetie so sorry for what this man put you through.
    I really dont know what to say, I think you should pray seriously about it and God will guide you to make the right decision.

    What he did was horrible but God forgives us our sins so we too must learn to forgive even when we dont want to.
    People do change cos there is nothing God cant do.Trust your instincts and the Holy Spirit will lead you.If it is the will of God, he will give you the grace to forgive this man and see him in a new light.May the good lord be with you and your baby always.
    Sending you e-hugs.♡♡