Yes! You must have been told when anyone is angry his ability to be reasonable reduces and the more such a one tries to vent out that anger the more mistakes they make and ends up losing it completely(drying up). Judgement of any angry person is always clouded in such state.
Sometimes we are the heat that pushes others to a boiling point or one’s inability to fulfil given task(s) or discontentment etc. And until there’s a vent there’ll be no stillness. I hope this story will help you realise the need to put off the flame when next you’re to heat up another’s or your anger.
“Today He returned from work only to find her already waiting for him. Tapping her feet on the ground impatiently, he could see the anger in her eyes and he didn't need a soothsayer to tell him that he had done something wrong, he tried, scratching his head and stretching his tired brain to figure out what, but to no avail.
Holding her hands, saying 'I'm sorry', in the bid to calm her down but to no avail, she jumped on him, cursing and swearing, it seemed like the more he tried, the angrier she got. He prayed, he spoke softly and tried to walk away but she got even fiercer, now scratching, pushing, crying and almost hitting, he begged her because he knew how hot his temper can get, he tried his best to hold back but to no avail.
He wondered what he had done to deserve this, she didn't even say why; she just kept on mumbling and throwing shades. But he explained to her, he told her how hot his anger could get and they even made a promise to only use words that are soft and loving.
He said, 'darling please calm down', then she made things worse, 'if only your mother had raised you better and taught you to be a better man I'm sure you wouldn't have done ...' and gbam!! His hands had found its way to her face, and then suddenly the house became as silent as a grave yard at 12a.m.
He looked in her eyes and saw the fear and horrors, the same look in his mother's eyes after every fight with his father, this was a side of him that she had never seen, and he had tried so hard to hide it. He turned around and walked away, feeling worse than she felt, although she couldn't see it but he cried, too guilty to apologise immediately, he prayed within him asking God to help lock this side of him forever because although she took the slap but it was him who felt the harsher side of the pain both inside and out”.Whenever you’re angry:
Rein in: There are better ways to express displeasure apart from giving in to anger and pushing others over the edge. Psychologists suggest you count in numbers from higher to lower such as 10,9,8,7,6,5,4.... This will help calm your nerves long enough to be reasonable.
Don’t Justify: Haven’t you heard ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’? Please don’t say “I have the right or I’ve got every reason to be angry” of course you do! But also you have the right to be calm headed too. You just have to choose which is more right. So, no matter how justifiable one’s anger is, it isn’t always the best way to handle issues because it can but worsen an already bad situation.Delay: Every feeling has got to produce an action. But that necessarily do not have to get a reaction. So when you get offended, provoked or otherwise, delay your response a moment longer and another longer until the anger vapourises. How? Walk away from source of provocation, talk to yourself about not reacting in like manners/finding no justification and listen to good advice of those telling you to calm down if there are any.
Relay: Just as the man in the above story, relay everything to God, let the Lord Jesus teach you how to steer the right course even in turbulent moment. Anger makes us question God’s abilities which will lead to the loss of one’s assignment as in the case of John the Baptist in Luke 7:20. Your course in life cannot be steered right in anger. Never let it loss, you can rein it in as the keep focus on the Lord.
Illustrative story written by Omoyibo Akpome Kelvin.